Microsoft Tablet to Finally Not Suck?

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Microsoft is rumored to be planning to unveil something tablet-esque during tonight's CES keynote. Meanwhile the Apple iTablet hype has been swirling for months now, along with wild rumors of it doing everything from saving the publishing business to unlocking nuclear fusion. Advice for the sweaty gentleman picruted above: 

If you drop another boring Windows 7 HP Touchsmart tablet on us, we'll know Microsoft is planning to remain in 2001 and sit this market out.
But if you drop Courier or a Courier prototype, or some unknown hot Zune/WinMo7 slate, we'll know it's go time.

All accounts I've read lead me to believe Courier isn't close to being ready. Still it's fun to imagine how the nerd-o-sphere would absolutely combust if Ballmer waltzed out there with this:

The Apple Tablet is Going to Melt Faces

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The buzz around the rumored Apple tablet grows by the day, but overall reaction has been mixed. Many are anticipating that it will end in disaster, just as many other ventures into tablet computing have. I think the world is ready for a tablet, and Apple is in the perfect position to deliver yet another life-changing device.

The iPhone isn't a Phone Anymore
At some point, many iPhone and iPod Touch owners realize that the primary function of their device has become secondary; where the amount of time using their device as a computer begins to dwarf the amount of time using it as a phone or media player. This is the prime explanation why millions of people have gleefully allowed AT&T to ruin their phone calls for years without ditching their iPhone. We simply don't care about the phone part as much. I reached this point some time ago with my iPod Touch. I spend a few hours each week listening to my music library, but a few hours each day doing other things. Checking email, browsing the web, reading an ebook, calculating a budget, booking a flight, listening to web radio...last night I watched the Yankees game live on my goddamn iPod. The iPhone is no longer a phone, it's a computer of sorts. That's how people are using them. So the iPhone OS is already proven as a valid (and popular) app platform.

The iTablet as the Ultimate Media Device
Let me know if this sounds familiar- I have a MacBook and a PC laptop packed TO THE GILLS with pricey software. They sit idle each night as more and more of my daily tasks are accommodated by my iPod Touch. I can grab the Touch and in a few clicks get the information I need. The only times I fire up a laptop are:
  1. When I need more screen real estate.
  2. When I need to view Flash.
  3. When I need more computing power or better I/O.
The Apple tablet can eliminate #1 and #2, but it can't compete with #3. And it shouldn't even try. The iTablet shouldn't try to be a "MacBook with a touchscreen". Instead it should just keep pushing in the current iPhone OS direction, with focus on making it the ultimate media device. The lack of computing power problem will gradually be solved by the cloud.

The Cloud Makes the Tablet Relevant
Add the cloud to the tablet and, as Satchmo used to say, "you has Jazz". Yesterday I used my iPod to work on my budget spreadsheet in Google Docs. Again, I used my media player with it's 3.5 inch display to work on a spreadsheet. And it wasn't an unpleasant experience. That's a testament to Google's web apps, and also highlights the point that as web apps becoming more powerful the need for computing power becomes less important. Sure, I'll still grab the laptop if I need dev tools to get my job done. But since more and more of my daily tasks are being shifted to the web, a tablet makes more sense now than it has in the past. This trend will continue.

So Why Not Use a Netbook?
Sex appeal. Packing the Apple Tablet with media-centric features and a big, glorious display is going to blow any netbook experience away. Can you imagine sitting on the commuter train streaming Netflix on this thing? Or flipping full-color pages of Newsweek on your flat panel tablet as people look at you like you're from the effing future? Game over, man. This thing will sell. The only way the Apple Tablet bombs is if Apple tries to cram OS X in there and make it a netbook.